Going to the doctor's tomorrow. I assume they'll do a blood test to see if I'm pregnant or not. I have no idea. I think I'm not because I've had to deal with a lot of cramping over the past few days. Hoping against hope for good news though. I read that cramping can be an early sign of pregnancy. I have been too scared to take a home pregnancy test. Before I have been eager to use them, but nothing is more disappointing then reading that "Not Pregnant" in the display window. I may use one tomorrow before I go to the doctor. Not sure yet.
It has been a winter wonderland in Sevier County over the past few days. I was annoyed on Sunday when I saw the rain, but by midday it had turned into snow and I was ecstatic. It piled up quick. Neither Alex nor I went to work on Monday. We decided to go today, but to leave a bit later than usual. I wish I had not left the house. It was hell getting down our road. I know most of the main roads are fairly clear, but our road was still well iced over. I started sliding as I went down one of the small inclines. My car is NOT made winter weather and I certainly do not have the nerves for it.
Up until a few years ago, I had never driven in bad winter weather at all. Then one day, out of nowhere, we had that day of black ice. I lived in Maryville in the country and was heading to Pigeon Forge early in the morning for a work thing. I went down my country back roads to the main highway before I even heard them start talking on the radio about the ice. I remember thinking, "That's weird. My drive has been fine. Oh, well. Must be elsewhere." I made it all the way down that highway and turned onto Lamar Alexander Parkway, again with no troubles. However, as I went to stop behind the line of cars at the next light...I didn't stop. I just started sliding. Terror went through me. As my car finally came to a stop, short of hitting the car in front of me, I looked to my left in time to see a truck in the next lane slide up onto the sidewalk to keep from hitting the car in front of them because they couldn't stop either. That's when I realized from my home to Lamar Alexander I had just been lucky. I attempted to go on. Cars were creeping alone, but still sliding, including my own. As I turned onto 321 and passed the hospital, I saw a car sticking up, practically vertical from going over an embankment. At that point, I wanted off the road. There was a huge empty parking lot ahead on the right. I wanted to get over, but I was behind a huge dump truck that was starting to slide right. Then I started sliding right, as well. He corrected himself (somehow) and I used my right momentum to get over to turn lane. I pulled into the parking lot of a funeral home. Once I got my car parked, I just burst into tears and started shaking uncontrollably. I was literally just bawling. I could barely breathe. I had been so scared, but you don't have time or the ability to express the fear when your and other peoples' lives are at stake, ya know? So once I was safe, I just melted into all that fear that I had been feeling. Even now, as I write this, I am shaking. It was extremely traumatic to me.
So that has caused me to have issues during winter weather driving, especially with our road always being covered in ice. I generally start hyperventilating and shaking. Getting to work today was no different. Half way there, I was in tears on the Spur because there were still some icy patches here and there. I even parked in a different place than usual, a lot where I would have to walk a ways to work, because I was scared the parking garage ramp would be icy and I wouldn't be able to get up it. Like I said, my car is not made for winter weather. It's super light and it doesn't take much to slide around.
I am too scared to go back down the road to my house. Plus, I have that doctor's appointment in the morning. I don't want to have to go on the road in the early morning hours when the ice will be worse than usual. So I'm going to meet Alex somewhere and ride home with him. Then I can leave with him in the morning and we'll go back for my car. I won't have to drive on any of the bad roads, at least until I come home. Maybe I can kill enough time in Knoxville that it will be melted by the time I go home. I can hope.